a Lil UpdatE

How is everything? I hope all is well.

Just thought I would give a quick update about stuff going on with me. Probably because sometime in the future I will want to remember myself, and right now my short term memory needs an adjustment.

Anyhow, Anything Goes opens next Friday. EEK! It's going well. We are ahead of schedule and I believe I have the dances. I just have to work the arms on one part of the tap dance number. Never thought I could be so coordinated. We have tonight off, but starting tomorrow we're in the for the long haul. Then I will be able to shift gears to being Fruma Sarah in Fiddler.

So what will i do next as far as shows are concerned? I really don't know. There are Sly Fox auditions that will be coming up shortly, but I'm not sure. I have been given the opportunity to stage manage a show in Tecumseh, Lil Abner. It's very rare that you asked this without any previous stage managing experience. True, I've stage managed church productions, but community theater is more intense. With this opportunity I will learn another side of theater, and increase my versatility as an actor. But, then the actor in me really wants to do another show. I've gone from show to show to show since last summer. I still need to take my licensure exam. Maybe if I stage manage I will be able to put my focus on that and remembering all the social work stuff I need to, rather than trying to memorize a show. I really tried to study for my exam while doing Barefoot in the Park, but I stressed myself out so bad that I really think part of my brain fried. So, I focused on the show and put my exam off. But I really need to take this exam.

Now, Wednesday night was a night that I will remember for a long time. Ah, just thinking about it now puts a smile on my face. That's right folks. I went and saw Michael Buble. Ahhh, that man. I tell you there is something about his voice that just sends shivers down my spine. Not only does he sing to make women swoon, but he is funny! He actually jumped off the stage and ran through the crowd up to the balcony so that way those of us up there could get a better view of him (wink wink). Yes, I know I'm a dork. But he's on of my five. And how often do you actually come within arms length of one of your five? He did make this comment however, pretty tacky, he said that he and his band are really there for the guys. That their job is to put some air in the tire and then the guys can go home and ride the bike all night long. Yes, that's right, the bike meaning the women in the house. Hmmm, I guess only a guy would appreciate that comment. It was a fabulous night though. I would definetly go and see that man again. He has such great stage presence, which is a lot for us in the theater world.

Well, I believe I have rambled on. I look forward to hearing from those of you who have been silent. Hope everything is going good.

Bubbles,

Micheal Buble - Home

Here

Well, I hope that your day is going well. Everything is cool on this side of the blog entry.

Anything Goes is going well. We ran the whole show for the first time last night, it's not as long as I thought it was. The director only had one and a half pages of notes. That doesn't mean we're ready to open, it just means that we did alright without all the set, props, and costumes. It was our first night on the stage without having to work around the Oklahoma set. I hear that Fiddler is going well... I will be able to concentrate on that in a couple of weeks.

Everything else is uneventful. Nothing too exciting is happening. Tuesdays and Thursdays are easier for me at work because I am in the art room in the afternoon. O, don't know if I posted this or not, but if I did it bares repeating. The possibility of me being able to move the elementary program to start an art program is looking promising. I only hope that it goes through. I really need a change here.

Anyhow, I've been doing a lot of reading lately about a variety of topics, mostly self help crap. I know I'm a therapist I shouldn't call it crap, but hey some of it is. There are couple of books that some wise friends suggested I read. They are interesting, however they are ones that you really need to pick and choose what you want to take from it. I figure I still have work to do on me, maybe that's why somethings that I thought would have happened by now haven't happened. I'm not ready. So, we will see. If nothing else it helps give a different perspective on things.

I really have nothing to report so I will sign off now and have about twenty minutes of my day to myself before I must work on some paperwork. I hope all is well on your end of this blog entry.

Always Bubbles,

Silence

Have you ever wondered about the meaning of silence?
It could mean numerous things...
As a therapist, I was taught to not ignore silence, it's necessary.
You have to be comfortable with silence, not always have the need to talk.
But, what's on the other side of silence?

Just some random thoughts. I've been thinking about some stuff over the weekend.
I'll try to write more later, must go run a group.

Bubbles,

Refresh

So, this time last month was the beginning of a lot of changing. As we all know change can be rough... but there's nothing you can do about it except accept it. I believe this is a life long process. There are definitely things that I miss and things that I wish could be different (there are still things that are reminders), but I can do nothing about them, I can only be me.

I've been very busy lately with shows. I love theater and I love acting. One of these days I will gain enough confidence and courage to actually move someplace where I can really pursue my dream. I have yet to write down my one year plan, but I make that a goal to complete by the end of this week. How many have made that list of things they want to accomplish? How many are actually able to cross things off? Well, one of my life's mottos is to live it to the fullest so there is never a what if...

So I've been thinking about a lot lately and have realized that the only way I'm going to get what I truly want is to really start to take action, not think about the action, but actually do it. There have been so many things that have happened the past couple of months that I really believe I have grown up a little more. Alright, alright... all jokes kept to yourself.

One things I've always struggled with is just that need to be encouraged and supported. I would like to believe that I am an independent woman, but sometimes it's scary to do things completely on your own. It's nice to know that there is someone there to support and encourage when you just want to give up. But, another part of life is coming to terms with the fact that there may not be that someone else there and in the end it takes me believing in myself and pushing myself to get it done. I'm Beth, I've always been the strong one. I can handle this too.

Look forward to hearing that encouraging voice...

Bubbles,

Let It Begin

Good morning! I hope that your weekend went well. I have no complaints about mine. This was the last weekend that I will have until Anything Goes is finished.

Nothing too exciting to report here. Just getting ready to start another week of summer programming... I have Wednesday off, so I will enjoy some Beth time.

Do you ever listen to something over and over again or replay a situation in your head trying to see something different out of it? It's just a random question that popped into my head this weekend. I had some crazy dreams this weekend. Friday night I hardly slept at all. I kept waking up to this dream about this psycho woman who was stalking me. Every time I woke up and went back to sleep it would begin right where it left off. It was the strangest thing. Don't know who the person was or what she was so pissed off about. Maybe I ate something wrong.

Well I must go drive and begin my week. I hope that you have a good day.

Bubbles,

Comedians All Around

So, I hope your day has been going well. Sorry I've been rather silent this week, it's been crazy busy at work with programming starting. Besides, I really wasn't saying anything much anyway, just mostly venting.

As you know, kids are unpredictable. You never really know what they will do or say. I'm working with younger kids this summer, which is a fresh change from the teenagers I usually deal with. There has been some funny moments and some throat strangling moments (not literally people, geesh I wouldn't hurt any of them.... too bad, hehehehehe).

Anyhow, part of my job is driving. And if you know me you know that the one thing I like to do while driving is sing. Of course, what else is there to do. Well, today while driving I was following behind a van and the van suddenly turned to the left to avoid a car that had pulled over to the right. Well, I had to do the same thing, because I as well did not see the car. The response from the kid sitting next to me, "Well, like you said you can't multi-task." Hahahaha. He then continues to give a play by play of some of his experiences while riding with me. He's a comedian. I'm sure that he will have his comedic nature throughout the summer. Which is great, driving can get boring. But, again I shall be the reason for the jokes. It's okay I'm used to it. There's nothing greater than seeing people laugh, especially kids who come from rough places.

Wally's Cafe went to competition last Saturday. OCTA was an interesting experience. I don't think it was our best performance, but I will tell you this, it was definitely better than some of the stuff I saw. However, the judges, well let's just say you could tell who their favorites were. The only note I received was that one judge said she thought I could have been a little more ditzy. Most of our notes were on directing stuff, blocking, set... Derek one a merit award for acting though so kudos to him.

Fiddler on the Roof is going. I went to my second rehearsal Wednesday night and ran through my song twice with everyone. The director's response..."You rock as Fruma Sarah... It's going to be the show stealer." It's nice to hear that. I'm still a little hesitant to make a judgment call on how great the show will be. We will see... I'm sure it will come together. I am optimistic.

Anything Goes is no joke. That tap dancing. But, I will tell you that last night I actually finished the sequence straight through. I was so proud of myself. It's a fun show and funny at that. There are really great actors in the show. The director is fabulous and the choreographer is great. It should be a great show.

Well, I must sign off because I just found out that my group is going swimming... news to me. Ah, communication is a beautiful thing. I hope all is going well with you and you have a great weekend.

Bubbles,

Twist

So, I hope your day is going well.

Programming is in full gear here at work. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, I mean at least the kids. Of course there are still some staff that are pissed off at me, but I don't really care.

Anything Goes is going well. I tell you though, tap dancing is no joke. I was proud of myself last night though... I finished the dance sequence, messing up only a couple of times. I was so excited, so I treated myself to some ice cream. I know, it's always the simple things that please me. But, I heard that is one of my endearing qualities.

Fiddler rehearsals are going well I guess... I've only been to one. I don't have rehearsal in Adrian tonight so I believe I'm going to make an appearance at Fiddler. This should be an interesting show... it's a strange mix of people. I guess I'll see.

Other things that have been bothersome lately have recently taken a weird twist. It's very interesting. Every time it seems you have a handle on something, something changes. Ah, change... the word that we all hate and fear. But, I've always tried to be open to change. It's how you learn. Still wish certain things could be different, but everything is for a reason. Hopefully one day I will be able to figure it all out. Until then, I dedicate myself to myself and my dreams. Something has to change in that direction.

Well I sign off now. I must go run a group. My sister is bringing her boyfriend into town tonight. Should be interesting, the family has yet to meet him. He was just in an accident, drunk driving. So, considering our family history hopefully he won't hurt my sister. Because then he would have to deal with me. Hey stop laughing, I can be aggressive if I need to be.

Deep breath and sigh.

Bubbles,

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go

~ T. S. Elliot

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hopeFor hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without loveFor love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, but the faith and love and hope are all in the waiting.Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:So darkness shall be in the light, and the stillness the dancing.
~T.S. Elliot

Expectations are the only barrier between us and that which we are.

~ T.S. Elliot

Does cease mean forever????????

Surprises

I love surprises. I love them even more when they take me completely off guard. Usually one has to really work hard to not have me catch wind of something. But, today has been full of pleasant surprises.

Programming started today, so I've done a lot of driving today. But the interesting thing is that I have noticed several cars the color of blue. Not just any blue, but a very specific color of blue. Now, it's interesting because whenever I see this color I am automatically reminded of something. So, throughout my drive my mind was continuously drawn to one topic. It was just interesting to me... not only that I saw a lot of this color (it's not very often this color is seen, at least for me), but that it happened today. Why today? Well, I guess because today I needed to be reminded of this topic. I suppose it was fate. Well, reassuring to say the least.

I'm usually not one to believe in fate or serendipity... whatever. But, today proved to challenge that. Because this continuous vision of blue, then led to other little surprises that were related to the topic. All in all... way weird. Even now, my insides are a little jumpy. Hmmm. Don't worry I know this probably makes more sense to me than you. It's funny how we are reminded of things when we need to be, not even really that you forget them in the first place. Now I'm confusing myself.

Well tonight is another tap rehearsal... which is challenging, yet something I wish to conquer. We will see. I believe I will have time today to rest a little though before I have to leave for rehearsal. And, I have just been having a taste for some chai and soup from Panera... maybe I'll have time for that. I love the Panera near my house, it's so quaint... it has a little fireplace, although I know they won't have the fire going today... it's still a cozy little place to chill for a bit, plus no one bothers you.

My thoughts have been everywhere, but mostly in one place. I hope that your day has been going well. Sigh.

Bubbles,

Just Here - Checkin' In

Hello all... I hope your day is going well. Mine is well.

A quick update from yesterday's work drama. I received a couple of calls last night from my supervisors, one basically telling me off and the other discussing and updating me (I think you can guess which is which). Anyhow, in the end I have the route I wanted because based upon seniority I have that right. So, I've pissed some people off and there are people at work not talking to me, so I'm just laying low and minding my own. It will be an interesting summer because one of the people mad at me is in both of my groups for programming. That's alright though, hopefully I will have a good job hunt.

Other than that I'm busy with Wally's Cafe and Anything Goes. Fiddler I will tackle in a couple of weeks, by the way congratulations Jeff King for joining the cast, working together once again. The tap choreography was very interesting last night, to say the least. I bought new shoes which don't kill my feet as much, that is an important step. I think I will be able to get it in about three weeks (I think it's three weeks before we open). We'll see, if not I'll just stand and look pretty somewhere else on stage.

Still trying to cope with Barefoot in the Park withdrawals. Yes, I know you'd think because I'm so busy that my mind wouldn't even be there, but it is. It was a fabulous role, fabulous experience, great people, and good times. I miss it, in more ways than one. Deep breath and sigh.

Well tonight I am busy with two rehearsals, one at 5 and another at 7:15, in different cities. Ah, what I get myself into. I do love every minute of it though... well maybe not right away, but when the show is ready to go up, it's all worth it. Once you step on stage, all the annoyances seem trivial.

I wish I had more time to leave something witty, but I'm just not that clever today. I have a voicemail to listen to (makes sense to me) and some shopping to do for tomorrow's programming. So I leave you with these final words (profound to few)...........

Deep breath and sigh... Somewhere down the road... Always something there to remind me... and most importantly...

Bubbles,

Daisy Power!

Hope your day went well today.

I stepped outside today and saw something that immediately made my heart smile a little. I have two new daisies starting their journey to bloom. I was excited. You see, someone really important gave me these daisies about a month ago. I do not have a green thumb and was rather disappointed when I saw them slowly die off. They were originally placed in a pot in my counseling room at work, but thinking it was due to the potent fumes, sawdust, spray paint, and who knows what else was flying in the air when preparing for the art show I decided to bring them home and place them outside.

I am happy to report that it seems as though this was a smart move. I've heard that daisies are hard to keep up with anyway, but I didn't give up on them. So tonight or tomorrow afternoon I will find a place to plant them in the yard and hope that they will continue to survive.

Now, I'm not really into all the "signs" and stuff, but considering a certain situation I wonder if my little daisies are the sign of something or perhaps a reminder of something. I don't know. Hopefully I'll figure it out soon.
(Soon - a word that is slowly driving me insane I think. A word that has no definitive time frame to it, so you are left just wondering when that soon will be. Soon, a word that could mean so many different things to so many different people. My soon maybe different than your soon. You're left to just wait. I suppose that is okay, I am one that could use lessons in patience).

I also wonder sometimes if there are certain things that change ever so slightly or you hear something that you've only heard from just one other person, if it is all intentional... a simple way of saying out of sight, but not out of mind? I don't know... I know it probably makes no sense to you, and maybe I'm just reading into things to help me deal with things better. I really cannot say.

Well, I'm off to get ready for Wally's rehearsal and then make an appearance at Fiddler rehearsal. Have a good evening and I hope to hear from you soon (hehehehehe).

Bubbles,

Back!

Hello to all. I have returned safely from my adventure to our nation's wonderful capital. It was a good trip. I saw a lot of incredible memorials, art, learned how to ride the Metro, met new people and had good times with friends. It took about nine hours to drive there, which was pretty uneventful.

So here's a quick breakdown of events. Upon arrival Wednesday I went to the mall with a group of people in Pentagon City. The first thing that caught my eye, which if you know me you will know what this means, I saw a salon that was named "Bubbles." I saw it and immediately smiled. Bubbles, have a special meaning for me and it was nice to remember that certain things are with you even if they physically aren't. While the group took care of their wedding business, I decided to venture throughout the mall to stores I have not heard of before. And, I was not disappointed... I found this fabulous store that I believe was created just for me. I tried some clothes on, but shocker, I walked away with nothing. We all then went to this quaint Mexican restaurant.

Thursday I awoke bright and early to head downtown to the Holocaust Museum and the Archives. Wow, the Holocaust Museum was very emotional. I was pretty cool throughout the exhibit until I walked into a room and saw the exhibit of shoes from those who were unfortunately in concentration camps. At that point I couldn't take much more. I had kinda rushed through the exhibit anyway because I could only take so much... needless to say I breathed a sigh of relief when I rounded the corner and saw the sign that said "The Last Chapter." I then went to the Archives and checked out the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights and all those important pieces. Then it was back to the hotel to prepare for the rehearsal dinner. The wedding is outside and in DC it was really, really hot... luckily they rushed through the rehearsal. We then went to a seafood restaurant in Alexandria. It was very nice... I met a lot of people I didn't know and tried not to look bored as people talked about the good old days.

Friday, the day of the wedding, was a complete solo Beth day. It was fabulous. I woke early and headed back downtown to check out things that basically interested only me. I first went to the National Gallery of Art. It was incredible... I started off in the East Wing, which held the Modern/Contemporary art. I saw original pieces from artists I have admired but have never been able to stand within touching distance of their art (don't worry people, I know I didn't actually touch the art). I saw works from Alexander Calder, Jackson Pollock, Georgia O'Keefe, Picasso, Andrew Warhol, Matisse, and numerous others. Needles to say I was in awe. I was unable to make it to the West Wing of the Gallery because my time was running short and I still wanted to hit up the National Museum of American History. There were a lot of kids in this part of the Smithsonian, but I dealt with it. I saw Dorothy's ruby slippers, muppets, Ella Fitzgerald exhibit, the first flag, Presidential exhibits, the first Teddy Bear ever made (which if you know me, you know I was excited). I then headed back to the hotel, of course after walking too far and missing my Metro entrance, then getting on the wrong train... I really need not say more.

I shall insert here a very interesting experience. After realizing that I had missed my Metro entrance I asked a random person, wearing a Smithsonian shirt, for directions. He was nice enough to offer to show me where my entrance was... don't worry people it was daylight and there were lots of people around. However, I did have to subject myself to hearing comment after comment... like are all the girls in Ohio as fine as you... blah blah blah... being ever so grateful when we had to split our ways.

The wedding was great. It didn't rain, as the forecast predicted... they're wrong as often as they are right. And the bride and groom looked very happy and very pleased to be standing where they were. That was refreshing to see. They went away with traditional things like flower girl, ring barer, slow dances, garter dance, throwing of the bouquet. But, they have been together for eight years and I think they were just happy to finally be married at all. It was very interesting. Toasts were great, dancing was fun, and of course I had to deal with many comments such as... o, well maybe you're wedding will be next? My simple response was... the jury's still out on that one.

Saturday a group of us went to check out Ford's Theater and check out the Lincoln Museum in the theater. It was very interesting. We then headed to Arlington cemetery, which I did not expect to see so many people. We watched the changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown soldier, the Kennedy Graves, Robert E. Lee's house, and shuttle memorials and things of that nature. We then headed back to the hotel to get ready for the open house the bride and groom were hosting at their humble abode. It was very nice. You had to go through the mall to get to their apartment, so of course I stopped back at my favorite store and picked up another outfit... hehehehe. They then wrapped the evening up with a bus tour of all the memorials in Washington. It was great. My favorite however was the FDR memorial. It was breathtaking. I love water and this memorial had water and waterfalls throughout the entire thing. I believe I took a whole roll of film just there. We then went to this Bar & Billiard place in Georgetown.

Today was the journey back. Needless to say, sore feet, lack of sleep, and eating way too much food that was bad for me... I am now home and must return to work on Tuesday. Tomorrow will be a day of, I hope, laziness, suntanning, washing my car and that's about it. I do have Wally's rehearsal at 5 and possibly Fiddler rehearsal at 7, but that's about it. We take Wally's to competition Saturday... not quite sure how I feel about it yet. Not looking forward to returning to work... then again people rarely do after vacation.

I hope everyone else is doing well. I look forward to hearing from you.? Always in my thoughts! Miss ya!! Deep breath and sigh.

Bubbles,