Softly

"That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger,

it may just kill you a little at a time"

So I wrote this quote down two weeks ago and read it every day. It's interesting because every time I read it I can think of something new to relate it to. Strength. Seeing the lesson in every circumstance. Strength. Seeing the positive side of the situation, rather than the drama or the negative. Strength.

Ah, strength. Something we all possess, but not something we all use. I've decided that sometimes I don't want to be strong. It's rather tiring to always be the strong one. Of course, I believe I do a relatively good job at maintaining my strength, but often times I just would love to throw my hands in the air, throw caution to the wind and yell at the top of my lungs.... who made up the rules of life anyway? Who sat down one day and decided that this was right and that was wrong? And how did we all just learn to live with that those things that are wrong are wrong because they are wrong and those things that are right are right because they are right? I know it's the conscience... the morals... the values that have been instilled within us or that we have chosen to follow. Ah, strength.

I've had too many things in my head lately. Trying to sort it all out. It's weird because sometimes I think "OK, I have a handle on this... I know what to do... I know it will be okay... it is what it is and it will be what it will be..." Then you hear that song or smell that smell or see that thing that just brings your mind back to the place you thought you had or tried to leave behind. Is it torment? But it's wanted torment...! I know that makes little sense. But it's there nonetheless. Sometimes, even though it shouldn't be, it is welcomed drama. But it's really only in the moment.

Someone once said to me that everything is circumstantial. It's true... you can never really tell or predict how things will turn out and no matter what you do, you really can't control the outcome or others.... you can only control yourself, which may then effect the outcome. That which challenges you makes you stronger. And, if you have any regrets... then you didn't learn from the situation.

I choose to live with no regrets................... and definitely live so that I never have

to ask "what if" and it be too late to answer it.