Movin' On YO!

So, it's that time in which decisions must be made. I have a lot of pretty big decisions to make within the next couple of months.
Those who know me know that acting is really what I want to pursue. While I am moving up, starting rehearsals for Fiddler on the Roof at the Croswell Opera House this weekend, to go anywhere I need to be somewhere else. So, that leaves the question of moving... to Chicago...??? While appealing as it is, it's also scarey to take that step. Granted I have family out that way, but I really have enjoyed living on my own and would not really want to move in with them. While I have heard the speech of saving, saving, saving, more times than I can count. I'm working getting out of debt, it's not that much, but debt is the general way of life in society today.

The other is just needing a fresh start. There are too many bad memories and too much painful times that I want to get away from. For some reason I feel I can only do that by leaving Toledo, not running away from them because I know that they will follow, but getting the chance to take a deep breath of FRESH air.

I ran a group yesterday, which the kids had a hard time with probably because of the topic, but it was on pain. There were two great quotes, Benjamin Franklin - "That which hurts also instructs," and "Pain is the shell that breaks the casing into our understanding," I can't remember who said that one. But if anything I think I got more out of the group than the kids did. I have struggled that past year with a lot of emotional issues, which some know about, and I have tried really hard to continually learn from them. I believe that until you deal with something it will cycle back around and keep presenting itself until you have come to terms with it. So I look at my situations and want so badly to not have them cycle back, they do, so I'm missing something. How can you fully evaluate something when you are so close to the situation? Shan Shan, hold tight to what you believe spiritually, ultimately your faith and strong spirituality is in you. I give you that advice, praying myself that I will one day be able to go back to my church and not hurt just walking in the doors. It's rough... but seek and you will find.

Another thing, of course is studying for the licensure exam again. Deciding what I want to do when I pass this time (please?) and finding a new job. I believe I have done all I can do at my current job and just want a new experience. I love the kids and I love what I do, but I'm not satisfied anymore. I'm beginning to feel suffocated... I need room to be creative. Of course, I can also pursue my passion for art, as well as acting. Ah, decisions.

So, I've babbled and I apologize. But I really wasn't complaining. Just letting you all know where I am and what I've been dealing with lately. Please pray for guidance and offer any advice heartily. I'm open ears and trust you all.