So Much Inside

I hope that everyone's holiday weekend went well. Mine, was pretty interesting. Saturday was pretty laid back, didn't do much of anything really. Sunday I had the opportunity to be an extra in a movie in Ann Arbor... it was a good experience. Thanks to KW for making it possible (yes, I will still thank him although he works hard to maintain a reputation as a jerk). Then I drove to Detroit, which was a horrible experience... I hate driving in unfamiliar territory. But it was ok in the end. Then yesterday I was able to watch my team, the Chicago White Sox shut out the Cleveland Indians, 11-0. And then ended my evening with Wally's rehearsal last night, preparing for competition.

Today is preparation for my trip, I leave for DC tomorrow. However, I have found myself stuck in my head most of the morning. I have spent my time rereading and looking at things that are really hard for me to let go of, that which I don't want to let go of. And I have to face the fact that in the end I probably won't, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. What I have to hold onto are words... words and promises that I hope will stand true. It's hard believing and not knowing at the same time. But there are certain ways that I look at the situation that makes me realize, while I don't like it, it makes sense. Sad sense, but sense. Somewhere down the road... I can't lie people, I'm still sad. I've gotten better at fakin' it until I make it, but at night when my head hits the pillow it's over. But, that's life.

I have decided to a make a one year plan. I am going to sit down and write down what I would like to accomplish and where I would like to be this time next year. It's time I stop talking about stuff and actually put action to it. I need to change something because right now not much is working out how I had thought. Ah, wheat bread and rice... deep breath and sigh...
But, I'm sure that in the end it will all be much greater than what I had dreamed of. Say it until you believe it.

I know I have babbled and probably didn't make much sense so I will sign off now and hope that you have a good week. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Bubbles,